ORIGINAL SOURCE: Smith L., Smith L. and Smith L. (1928) Morphic contortional elastomers: V-dimensioned or not? A definitive reply. National Academy of Proceedings, 122 687-701.
Morphic contortional elastomers, previously sometimes also referred to as con-morphs, are usually found in material which has been subjected to R-Type 9 radiation, or occasionally in naturally occurring formations from several parts of the Southern Hemisphere. Working at the now-famous facility on the eastern seaboard of the United States, Varmington Central, the three Smiths, Lenny, Larry and Lou ('The Smithlets', though the origin of this name is unattributed) relentlessly followed the directives of the lab's iron-fisted Director, Harry 'Hatchet' Harrington. Harrington, a survivor of Ypres had little time for slackers, which in his book was anyone not prepared to work eighteen hours a day as a matter of routine. The Smithlets, though dedicated (and unrelated) began to feel the strain, and having established that Harrington's driven demeanour was the result of insomnia resulting from his World War I traumas, took to drugging his coffee. Paradoxically, without the constant attentions of their supremo, they often worked even harder, and published their seminal paper on con-morphs shortly before Harrington fell into a coma from which he never recovered, and the cause of which was never ascertained at the time. Lenny Smith had served as a medic during his own conscription, and was rumoured to have an encyclopaedic knowledge, and contraband store of pain-killing drugs. A rift between the three, which started at Harrington's memorial service, meant that Lenny, Larry and Lou never spoke to each other directly again,although they continued to work in the same lab, and co-publish for another forty-six years. During this period many post-docs and Ph.D. students succeeded or failed on the strength of their ability to act as seamless go-betweens, rather than scientific prowess.